Are you a Terrorist Sympathizer?


David Cameron on Wednesday had the audacity to call me and my friends “terrorist sympathisers,” before adding injury to insult by using my hard-earned tax money to bomb an already war-torn country that’s already being bombed by numerous other countries.

Aside from far more serious issues, this begs the question of how one should define a “terrorist sympathiser.”

Florence of Arabia teamed up Prof. Andrew Will-Share, a London-based mixologist, to do the heavy-lifting for you here.

YOU’RE A TERRORIST SYMPATHIZER IF YOU:

* Felt kind of bad for Waj in Four Lions
* Say ISIS or ISIL or IS or Islamic State instead of Daesh
* Like a Chocolate Twist or Pain au’ Raisin with your skinny latte every morning
* Think Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan does actually look like Smeagol
* Think Vladimir Putin can sometimes be kind of hilarious
* Were opposed to the Iraq war on the grounds that lots of innocent people died
* Believe Edward Snowden is a hero
* Check your phone in the cinema without dimming the screen
* Love M.I.A.’s latest track
* Like to drink white wine with your steak; red wine with your sushi
* Like Jon Snow‘s brand of journalism
* Know what falafel is made of
* Favour trial by jury


Capture


YOU’RE NOT A TERRORIST SYMPATHIZER IF YOU:

* Went to Eton
* Have a protracted history of any kind with pigs
* Are always late to war parties
* Aggressively shake hands with the Prime Minister of Israel with a genuine smile on your face
* Regularly disregard human rights violations by the Saudi regime
* Welcome a really small number of refugees into your country ’cause for every 100 refugees there could be a Steve Jobs on the one hand, and an ISIS member on the other
* Experience FOMO on Syria-related developments
* Forgot everything you said on Oct. 4
* Have no long-term strategy on how to handle ISIS I mean Daesh
* Drop lots of missiles on Mess O’Potamia or whatever they call it because YOLO
* Think Jeremy Clarkson is hard-done-by and everyone needs to give him a break
* Are confused when a veiled woman plays Candy Crush on a bus


Some responses to Cameron’s name-calling, from across the interwebs:

cameron

“So we will be bombing here, here and here.”

terrorist3terrorists
From the SpectatorDavid Cameron will be kicking himself for calling Corbyn and co ‘terrorist sympathisers’

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