ISIS Fighter Furious at Non-Muslim Millennials for Appropriating Beard Culture

From hipsters in Williamsburg to millennials in Bethnal Green, ‘big, bushy beards’ have morphed from an ISIS subculture style to a mainstream Western fashion trend.* Daoud Mahmoud of Raqqa, Syria, says he can no longer remain silent. Florence of Arabia reports.

In a series of furious Tweets on Friday, 22-year-old ISIS militant Daoud Mahmoud blasted Western millennials and hipsters for their “appropriation” of the caliphate’s beard culture, saying it was becoming “increasingly intolerable.”

Tweeting from his shelled-out flat in Raqqa, Daoud gave a brief history of ISIS beard culture, saying facial hair is a core tenet of the terrorist group’s deep-seated spirituality — so much so, men who don’t sport a suitably bushy beard are instantaneously slaughtered.

“White people have appropriated ISIS culture and that’s unacceptable both sociologically and philosophically,” @DaveinSyria tweeted on Friday, appending the hashtag, #silentnomore.

“Hundreds and hundreds of dumb*ss articles on millennials in the Western media are coming out daily, and not one of them — not even the hilarious spoof articles — note the true origins of the beard,” Daoud said in a Facebook post.

“Extremist Muslims can be Millennials too,” he added. “It’s so typical of Western media to misinform people. Brainwashing innit.”

Although the hipster-beard was popularised way before ISIS captured large swathes of Iraq and declared a caliphate, Daoud claims extremist Muslims have had a monopoly over the practise for centuries. “Popular culture has made me feel like even us genuine ISIS fighters with beards were never quite 100 percent authentic, ya know?” Daoud said.

When asked “why now?” by a Twitter troll, Daoud said all the click-baity articles on millennials — particularly those in Buzzfeed and Vice — are getting to him. “For Allah’s sake,” he said. “How many times do we need to see the word ‘Millennial’ in a headline? WE GET IT – NON-MUSLIM MILLENNIALS ARE A THING.”

In a number of posts to his social media accounts, Daoud pointed out the ways in which white, middle-class millennials who like to watch Netflix and Vape whilst eating kale attempt to mimic ISIS’s style, without ever acknowledging its origins. “Justin Bieber’s dreadlocks. Beyonce’s Bollywood outfit. Kylie Jenner’s cornrows. And now, non-Muslim Millennial Beards.  #ISISDoesitBetter,” @DaveinSyria tweeted.

“When u appropriate ISIS features and barbaric culture but fail to use ur position of Western privilege to help Muslims by directing attention toward ur facial hair instead of Western imperialism or colonialism you are kuffar bruh,”* Daoud said in a Facebook post.

#ISISdoesitbetter trended on Twitter over the weekend, but @ModerateMuslimsWorldwide quickly caught wind of the tweets, pointing out that the hipster-millennial-beard is actually theirs, and not the terrorist group’s.

“While we agree the beard is being culturally appropriated, we find it truly abominable that ISIS are now claiming it’s theirs, when in fact we have been sporting the Beard for literally centuries,” @ModerateMuslimMike said, using the  hashtag #ISISprivilege. “We condemn ISIS for these ludicrous claims. The ISIS beard does not represent all Muslim beards,” one tweet read. ♦

*If you’ve recently read stories in mainstream media about Cultural Appropriation, these sentences will sound very, very familiar to you.

SO MUCH APPROPRIATION HERE

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